Who here has ever had relationship problems? *sheepishly raises hand* Relationships can be complicated from the get go, and even the best of us tend to have a hard time, so I’ve decided to compile all of my relationship trials and triumphs and bring them to you my loyal readers in the form of Relationships 101. Everything from how to snag that girl you’ve been eyeing to how not to propose, and everything in between will be covered, so there’s something for everyone. If you have a specific topic you want covered or a question you’ve been dying to ask but never had the guts to do so, you can submit your question anonymously here.
With all that being said, I decided to start at the beginning. How to get into a (romantic) relationship. People may think this is a no brainer, but really, its more complicated than some might think. Here are some GENERAL guidelines that I have found useful.
1. Obviously, find someone that you are interested in. This carries more weight than the sentence implies. Don’t choose someone that you think is cute or hot or whatever. Make sure you have a connection beyond what is on the outside. Shallow, or face value only, connections hardly ever work and only hurt those involved. Meaningful connections take time, so don’t rush it.
2. Don’t start a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. It is honestly better to be alone than to be with someone that you don’t share a connection with. All this leads to are feelings of dependency upon a relationship that wasn’t meant to be in the first place.
3. Don’t get attached too soon. Stick your feelers out, judge whether or not this is just a fling or something more concrete. Specifically, don’t plan your day around theirs. Don’t spend every waking moment in contact with them. Don’t give your heart up until you know FOR SURE that it isn’t going to get handed back to you in shambles.
4. Don’t pressure the person into doing something they aren’t ready to do, ever. All you are doing by pressuring them is making them more uncomfortable and pushing that timetable even further.
5. Watch for hints. If they stop calling, texting, emailing, iming, etc. it means they are not interested for whatever reason. Don’t take this personally. It could be they are having issues and they care enough not to get you involved. It could be they were looking for something different from what you had to offer. It could be they are a jerk and don’t have the heart to say something to your face. Whatever the reason, it does absolutely no good to either party to push the issue. Take it at face value and move on.
6. And finally, DON’T SETTLE. I cannot stress this enough. If they are not what you’re looking for, tell them and move on. All you are doing by dragging it out is hurting the other person more. More time=more emotional attachment=harder fall when you do finally break up.