As Rebecca walked into the bar, she became keenly aware of the attention shift in the room towards her. She was used to it, but this time was different. The men didn’t even bother to look up from their drinks, but the women seemed frozen in place, unable to move, eyes fixated on Rebecca. To say Rebecca was gorgeous would be an understatement. At 5’6″and 120lbs, she was the epitome of any man’s dreams. Her dark brunette hair, hazel eyes, and curves completed the package, making her the perfect trophy wife.
And that was all he saw her as, a trophy. To be placed on the mantel and forgotten, dusted off every once in a while to look at and admire, but nothing more. She had all the things a woman like her should want. The newest car, the biggest home on the block, the designer shoes and clothes. But she didn’t have him. She never really had him to begin with, even though she was so sure he was what she wanted. Michael was always away on business trips, or so he said. She tried to find comfort in the arms of another man. Michael knew, but didn’t really care. She was a convenience, and so long as she didn’t become an inconvenience, he was perfectly happy where he was. It was too much of a hassle to divorce her, and he was just as guilty as she was. He knew he would lose everything if he divorced her.
But Rebecca was never really happy. She thought maybe it was the men she was seeing. They were all concerned with their own desires and never really focused on her. So she tried older men, the ones who supposedly knew what they were doing. But they wanted more than just sex. They talked of running away together and starting over, just the two of them. And as much as she hated the life she had built, she knew she could never leave it behind.
But all that changed when she met Nancy. They would talk for hours, spending each waking moment together. Rebecca knew how Nancy felt about her, but denied those feelings in herself. She knew her husband would never stand for her being with another woman. They were both from conservative families, and the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, at least not with Michael.
But Nancy was gorgeous. She made Rebecca feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Her vibrant red hair and pale skin tone complimented each other perfectly. Her green eyes could pierce your very soul, and she had exquisitely plump lips. Her small frame didn’t do justice to the spirit it held inside. She was beautiful both inside and out, and you couldn’t tell by the light in her eyes that she was just 22 years old.
The first time Nancy kissed her, Rebecca pushed her away. Nancy left without another word. It would be three days before Nancy came by again, and that was only to tell Rebecca that she wouldn’t be coming by anymore. Rebecca begged her to stay, but Nancy had made up her mind. Rebecca knew the only person that could make her happy was Nancy. And she had royally screwed that up, just like everything else in her life. So she got in her car and drove to the bar on Rodeo Dr. where Nancy worked.
It was a humid Wednesday afternoon. The California sun beat down upon Rebecca as she strode into the popular gay bar in the middle of July. Rebecca saw Nancy at the end of the bar, talking to one of the regulars. Rebecca walked up and asked to talk to Nancy alone. The other woman left, leaving them alone. Rebecca begged her to give her a chance, to just hear her out. Nancy said she would come by after her shift was over with a bit of trepidation in her voice. Rebecca returned home, anxiously awaiting Nancy’s return. She called Michael’s office to find out when he would be home, only to find out he would be in Italy until next Wednesday. She hung up the phone and began to prepare dinner as she thought about how utterly depressing it was that she didn’t know where her own husband was.
Nancy arrived a few hours later, but she seemed different, almost cold. Rebecca couldn’t tell if it was because of her or because of something else. She welcomed Nancy in and led her to the kitchen for some food. They sat down and began to eat in awkward silence. They hadn’t been this silent since Rebecca walked into Nancy’s work and spotted the red-headed beauty for the very first time. As Rebecca made her way towards the beautiful bartender she couldn’t help but notice the spark in her eyes. It reminded her of the first time she had seen Michael, and she couldn’t help but feel a pang of remorse as she asked for a vodka tonic from Nancy. A week later she returned to the bar and got up the courage to ask for Nancy’s number, calling her just a day later.
When the food had all been eaten, Rebecca began to clear the dishes away, but Nancy stopped her, saying they needed to talk more than the dishes needed to be done. They went to the living room and sat down on the couch, facing each other. Rebecca knew she only had one shot to make this right, which terrified her. She wasn’t sure where to begin, and Nancy picked up on her fear.
“Just say what’s on your mind,” Nancy said, growing more angry with each passing moment, “You can’t possibly hurt me anymore than you already have.”
“I love you, but I’m terrified of the idea of you all at the same time,” Rebecca said, “You represent something completely forbidden to me, something I’ve never even considered a possibility before. But I can’t deny what I’m thinking and feeling. I can’t deny the effect you’ve had on me. I want to say screw it all to hell and leave this life behind, but I don’t think I’m strong enough. And it’s not fair to you if I’m not ready to give it all up completely.”
Nancy sprang across the couch as Rebecca reached for her. It wouldn’t be the last time the two women fell asleep together like this.