The Holiday’s can be a stressful time in any relationship, and figuring out who to spend them with can be tricky. So here are some ground rules to follow to navigate the tricky waters of relationshipville during November and December.
1. Be flexible. If your mother insists that you spend so and so holiday with her, calmly but firmly, tell her you will be deciding with your SO where to spend the holiday. When it comes to the convo with your SO, explain to them that so and so holiday is particularly important to your mother, and you would be very appreciative if you could spend that holiday with her. If you come to an impasse, be the bigger person. I know it sucks, especially having to take the info to your parents. But this isn’t worth the ensuing argument with your SO.
2. Be willing to compromise. I know this sounds like the one above but it’s not. Let me explain. If you are able to try to divide the big day. If the families live too far apart then obviously this won’t work. But if you can, I would suggest it. That way everyone wins, and arguments are avoided.
3. No matter what, maintain a good attitude. Even if your SO’s mother burns the turkey, their uncle is sloshed before noon, and their creepy younger brother keeps staring at you. Your SO will appreciate it more than life itself, and you will end up having a better day because of it.
4. DO NOT BE SNOTTY! I put that in caps because it is probably the most important thing to remember. What does this mean? Don’t talk incessantly about your mothers cooking, how great her house looks, and how she gets up at 4am to start everything from scratch. Instead, praise the hostess even if it isn’t what you expected or isn’t as good as your mothers. This will do one of two things. If your snotty, it will earn you massive amounts of bad emotional vibes from the whole family and an ungodly amount of strife between you and your SO. If you are gracious, you will gain a massive amount of brownie points both with the family and your SO.
5. Last but not least, play fair. If Thanksgiving was with your family, Christmas belongs to your SO.
6. Obviously, there is always the option of spending the holiday’s with your families separately and hanging out together later. If you decide this is the best option for you, then that is all fine and dandy. My advice for you though is make sure that your SO is equally okay with this.