No, this isn’t a guide on how to cheat successfully. If you’re looking for that, then click to the next blog please. What this is about is how NOT to push your SO away. I read a post here and felt compelled to share with you, my readers, why I feel slightly different from the author of the post. Here is why I think that SOMETIMES people are pushed to cheat by their SO:
1. In the beginning of the relationship they kept up their appearance, kept the space around them tidy, and interacted with their SO. They were pleased to be around the person they cared for, and they exhibited that through display’s of affection. Now they are living together and they no longer feel the need to engage in any of those behaviors. They often act like they simply do not care about the other person any longer.
2. Drastic change in personality, I.E they used to be kind, caring, and affectionate. Now they are borderline hostile, and try to pick a fight with their SO on a regular basis.
3. In the beginning of the relationship, the sex was awesome and happening on a regular basis. Now they resort to using sex to get what they want, and often withhold if they think their SO has hurt/offended them in some way. Even when they do have sex, it is not like it is before and the person in question doesn’t seem interested. Almost like they were having sex because they felt obligated to do so.
Obviously there are many reasons why people cheat, but I’m focusing on a specific set of reasons for the time being. So how can we make sure this doesn’t happen?
1. DON’T get burnt out. If having sex every night isn’t your thing, let your SO know. Explain to them that it’s not a reflection on them, you just need time to recharge your batteries.
2. Be REAL from the get-go. If you’re not neat and tidy, don’t fool them into thinking otherwise. Let them know that cleaning is not your strong point.
3. If your honestly no longer interested in them, let them know. There is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
4. DON’T pick fights. If your mad @ your SO, tell them so and try to talk it out instead of trying to get them to break up with you by being a snot nosed brat.
5. If you are having problems you can’t work out on your own, see a therapist.
6. If there are honest problems that you really don’t think you can work through, consider whether or not the relationship is worth it, and then ACT on that decision.
7. Don’t wait for them to realize there is a problem on their own, talk to them and see if you can work it out together.
8. And finally, don’t stew on something. Let them know they said/did something to hurt/offend you and TALK ABOUT IT. Give them a chance to apologize and/or correct their mistake.