Relationships 101: Self Worth

If there is one thing that is essential to any relationship, it’s that both parties have to believe that they are worthy of the love of the other person. Otherwise, it’s not a relationship, but a crutch for the person who thinks they aren’t worthy. How many times have you had to tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful, only to hear her tell you she’s ugly/fat/worthless? It’s a frustrating cycle, and only one she is going to be able to break.

But that’s the easy part. They say admitting you have a problem is half the battle, but whoever said that clearly doesn’t know what the hell they are talking about. While admitting you have a problem is important, it does no good to admit you have a problem if you’re not going to do anything about it.

But what do you DO about it? I’m going to tell you right now, it’s a lot easier said than done. And its going to take time. So prepare yourself now for the fact that you’re going to have bad days. Your not going to feel amazing 100% of the time. And there are going to be awesome days:

1. When you get up every morning, before you do your hair, drink your coffee, or put your makeup on, tell yourself that you ARE worth it, that you are worthy of being loved. Now this is the hard part. You MUST believe what you are saying. To the very core of your being, you have to believe that you are worthy of love. There are going to be days that you don’t feel it. There are going to be days where you don’t see it. On those days, your going to have to say it a few more times, but keep repeating it to yourself until you DO believe it.

2. If you feel fat, do something about it. Exercise, eat better. Half the self-esteem problems today could be solved if people were more proactive about their health. And emerging research has proven that those who are healthy physically are healthier mentally and emotionally as well. So go for a run, do a few laps in the pool. Eat breakfast instead of just having coffee. Come home and make dinner instead of eating fast food every night. Take care of what you’ve been given and it will take care of you.

3. Put some makeup on. Do your hair just because you feel like it. But don’t rely on those things to make you FEEL pretty. Realize that while the outside is what attracted him to you initially, he STAYED with you because of what’s on the inside.

4. Nurture the inside. Find a hobby. Do something that you love. Take a you day. Feeling worthy doesn’t just mean making the outside look good, it also means making sure the inside is taken care of as well.

5. And finally, LISTEN to the people around you. Realize that they love you for who you ARE, not for what you look like, and that they wouldn’t lie to you.

As a side note, if you find that these things aren’t working, it may be time to visit a professional. But try this FIRST. Drugs aren’t always the answer, and jumping to them immediately instead of taking steps to help yourself first can do just as much damage as not doing anything, if not more.


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