I’m going to say when I realized I was really in love with Joe, which is last night. My best friend’s sister is throwing her a surprise birthday party (don’t worry, I future dated this post so she doesn’t see it till after the big surprise) and decided to hire a male stripper. I know. I was MORTIFIED. And I’m sure my friend will be too when she realizes what is going on.
But back to the Aha! moment. I was sitting on the desk and Joe was sitting on the window sill, and we were having a discussion about why he was uncomfortable with the idea of me being at this party, especially since he knows my low tolerance for alcohol. I was getting pretty upset because it seemed like he didn’t trust me, which wasn’t the case at all. He’s a guy. He KNOWS what he thinks about me, and he has a pretty good idea of what most other guys think about me. And as he said, “shit happens.”
So obviously I started crying. I can’t just not go since I helped plan the whole thing AND she’s like my best friend ever, but I love Joe and I would hate to think of him sitting at home while I watched a male stripper do his thing.
And then it hit me.
I never would have given two shits about Joe being uncomfortable if I didn’t love him as much as I do. I have an independent streak a mile wide, and I don’t take “direction” very well. If ANY other guy had expressed concern over me going to this party, I would have said too bad, so sad. But I DO care, and the only reason I was crying last night was because I could see that the whole situation was hurting him, and that hurt me too.
So yea, that was my most recent Aha! moment.