Write about something you’ve never told anyone

Well, damn.

I have MASSIVE insecurity issues. Even at 27 years old, I struggle everyday with the fact that I don’t think I’m good enough. Pretty enough, sexy enough. Smart enough, which is a really hard pill to swallow. I’ve been going to college off and on for 8 years now, and I still don’t have a degree. While most everyone else around me has figured out what they want to do with their lives and have taken the steps necessary to reach those goals, I’m STILL not sure what I want to do. And that makes me feel like I’m stuck, which doesn’t help with the other types of insecurity I’m dealing with.

I’ve been looking for a job for MONTHS, and I STILL haven’t found anything. I’ve gone on more job interviews, filled out more applications, and sent my resume to more people than I care to admit, and still nothing. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me if, after ALL that, NO ONE is calling me back. And it scares me that I’m going to have to do the same thing when we move to Arizona. What happens if the same thing that’s happening here happens there too? I don’t want Joe to think I’m a loser who can’t get a job, and I don’t want to rely on him to support me, but I don’t know what to do differently. everyone I’ve talked to says I’m doing EVERYTHING right as far as looking for a job is concerned, but then why am I not finding anything? Why is no one calling me back?

I put on a happy face and say everything is okay, but in reality it’s not.

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2 Comments

Filed under lizheartshakespeare

2 responses to “Write about something you’ve never told anyone

  1. I completely understand your insecurities. I’m struggling with my own, but the best advice I can give you is to make yourself happy. Economically, jobs are hard to come by. My father was laid off at the place he worked at for over 10 years. My mom did the same. It’s happened with my aunt and cousin as well. My father only found part-time work at first, then finally got a full-time position at Menards. My mom just became a stay-at-home-mom, even though her two oldest kids were in college, and her youngest is a teenager. My aunt and cousin are going back to school.

    Many people change careers several times in their lives and possibly aren’t happy with the final result. It’s okay that you’ve been going to college on and off for 8 years because you’re still trying. I commend you for that. I applaud all people who go back to school to improve their lives and the lives of their families.

    If someone loves you, then you are enough. You obviously don’t have horrible flaws (like being a murderer, drug dealer, etc.). I don’t know you, but I think you’re good enough for anything you want to do. ❤

  2. Pingback: Why did you start blogging? « NotMyBetterHalf

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