Does everything happen for a reason?

I think so. Let me show you why:

A young man is severely injured in a car accident and spends the better part of two years recovering from the accident and the various surgeries to fix his severely damaged legs. Because of this, he is required to spend most of his time in a hospital bed in his living room, with little in the way of entertainment. He decides to go on craigslist just to see what (or who) he can find. He reads one of the personal ads and decides to email the poster.

A 16-year-old girl is uprooted from a home that she loves and moves to the middle of BFE (ask me if you don’t know what that means) where she is forced to go to a new school where she only knows one or two people. In a bout of teenage rebellion, she decides to use heroin, promising herself that it’ll only happen once. Three years later, she is forced into a rehab facility by her parents after her mother finds her stash in her sock drawer. A few months after she gets out of rehab she’ll meet the man she thinks she’s supposed to spend the rest of her life with. Three years later he’ll commit suicide right in front of her, blaming her for all his problems. She’ll spiral down into depression, and the only thing that stops her from using again is her sponsor showing up on her door step and not leaving her alone for the next month and a half. She’ll eventually recover, but the damage is done. She doesn’t go out anymore, and eventually her dating life is all but non-existent. She’ll decide to post an ad on craigslist, more as a joke than anything. She gets a few responses, but none as interesting as this one in particular.

They’ll email back and forth a few times, then exchange phone numbers. Their first date will be at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Riverside, Ca. They’ll spend hours talking, only ending the date because the restaurant is closing down for the evening. It feels like they’ve known each other forever. He’ll walk her to her car and give her a hug. She’s bummed he doesn’t kiss her, but then she realizes he’s giving her an out, a chance to say she’s not ready. Three weeks later he’ll tell her he’s in love with her, the first person he’s ever really been in love with, and the rest is history.

That is how Joe and I met. If my ex had never committed suicide, I probably would have ended up marrying him and been stuck for the rest of my life. If Joe hadn’t gotten in his car accident, he never would have been on craigslist looking at personal ads. So yea, I kind of have to believe that everything happens for a reason.



Filed under lizheartshakespeare

3 responses to “Does everything happen for a reason?

  1. Jen

    Wow. That’s quite a tale, Liz. Thanks for sharing it. It must have been insanely difficult to heal from all you’ve been through. Where are you in that process? Do you intend to write about it further?

    I, too, believe everything happens for a reason, and my evidence is also my present relationship! I was married before and we were fine, but not happy. This was the first moderately healthy relationship my former husband and I had ever had, but we were not truly in love. He and I had both come from abusive homes that left a lot of painful scars and open wounds. After six years together and becoming shells of the people we used to be, I separated from him. We flourished as individuals and our relationship strengthened. I then met Gabe. Had I not spent 6 years developing the skills for a healthy relationship, and solidifying who I am and what I want, I would never have been ready to appreciate my true life partner.

    Fate can be pretty cool when you look at it from the 30,000ft perspective, or as I generally call it, the mountain top view. 🙂

    • Liz

      Your very welcome. I think I’ve talked about it before, but never in as much detail, so its good to know people identify with it. As far as my journey is concerned, everyday is different. Some days are worse than others, but for the most part, I think I’m in a healthy place. I’ve realized that its not my fault, that he was a very sick individual and there was nothing I could do to help if he wasn’t willing to help himself. I’ve also cut out a lot of the negativity in my life. I’ve gotten to a point in my life that I realize some people just aren’t healthy for me, and there isn’t anything that is going to change that, so I just need to let them go so I can move on with my life. And holding onto unhealthy relationships damage not just me, but the other person as well, and if I truly care for them, I have to be able to let them go.

      As far as writing about it further, I’m not sure. I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I feel like dwelling on it would just be unhealthy, so I tend to shy away from the topic as a whole. I’ll have to look through my posts to see if I have written about it before. If I have, I’ll post another reply with the link.

      Congrats to you on getting out of an unhealthy relationship and finding the person you were truly meant to be with. I know how hard it is to leave something that feels kind of right. You want to stay because you care about them, but you know this isn’t where your meant to stay. That was the biggest reason I stayed with my ex for as long as I did, and I end up hurting us both in the process.

    • Liz

      I couldn’t find anything where I discussed how I felt or how I was doing, but that is mostly because I had to remove a bunch of posts a few months ago due to some ongoing family BS. I did however write a short story based on the events leading up to my ex’s suicide which can be found HERE if your interested in reading it. It gives some definite insight into how I was feeling at the time, but it definitely doesn’t reflect where I am now.

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